Having a tough time with some things

I'm on a few Facebook groups for adoptees. There is a lot of anger on there. As there should be. Adoptees have always gotten the short end of the stick. What really gets me is how some adoptees get so mad when people suggest that their first mothers might have been coerced or forced. Or lied to. It's like they really can't stand to hear that. I mean. My first mother is one of the ones who as a mother she was pretty negligent. I don't know. Just some random thoughts I am having. It makes me sad because I know a few first mothers who were forced, lied to. And tricked.

Managed to switch between my aol and google accounts.

Family time drawing to an end.

My brother and his wife are here visiting. Today is actually the last day. They fly out tomorrow. I am going to miss them but I can't wait for some relax time. We've done so much traveling it's crazy. Just want to kick back and watch a movie or something . Feel bad about being relieved but oh well.

Blogging

Haven't really been all about blogging lately. Life seems to keep me pretty busy so that's that I guess. I downloaded the app onto my iPod so maybe I'll blog more. I don't know.

Adoption has just fallen to the wayside for me right now. I just don't have the enegrty sometimes to get into discussions or anything.

I feel bad that I never update.

But to be honest, sometimes I don't know what to say. At this point in my life, I feel kind of lost and very alone. The whole thing with Alfio left me shaken and sad. I don't know how to move on, or if I even want to. I find myself looking at the phone hoping that he might actualy call. I originally wanted him to call so I could have the pleasure of yelling at him and hanging up. Now, I just want to know he's ok. But I might never know that.

Four years is a long time. I hope eventually I can move on. Because at this moment, I'm not even close.

A New year

Here's to hoping it goes better then the last one!