I'm on a few Facebook groups for adoptees. There is a lot of anger on there. As there should be. Adoptees have always gotten the short end of the stick. What really gets me is how some adoptees get so mad when people suggest that their first mothers might have been coerced or forced. Or lied to. It's like they really can't stand to hear that. I mean. My first mother is one of the ones who as a mother she was pretty negligent. I don't know. Just some random thoughts I am having. It makes me sad because I know a few first mothers who were forced, lied to. And tricked.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
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3 comments:
They can't stand to hear it because it goes against everything they were told or believed. On the other hand, it absolutely infuriates me when some f Moms insist that ALL mothers were coerced or forced. Its simply NOT the case. Every relinquishment, just like every adoption, is different.
My birth mother was not coerced or lied to... except possibly by society as a whole.... She never had pre adoption counseling- she never met with anyone in fact- not even a dr! She just went to the hospital when she went into labor and told them she needed to see a social worker because she was placing the baby for adoption.
However coercion is the name of the game and just because that did not happen in my case does not mean as an adoptee I am not infuriated by the things that take place in adoption today or in the past. I think like any grief- there are stages, some days I am angry, some days I am in denial, some days I feel I have acceptance. It is not a staircase you climb- I visit all of the stages regularly. over and over again.
ExActly Linda. I know mothers who were coerced and it offends me when women who weren't coerced to try and use that line later on.
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