Just had too much going on

I've been feeling depressed and confused. Been trying to hide it, think it's working.

A part of it is the familiar feeling that I'm not worthy to have a life of my own. I've spent most of my 29 years taking care of others, and I am getting tired of it. I met a very nice guy a couple months ago, and we seemed to hit it off. I got pretty positive vibes, but once again, my fear of rejection is rearing it's head. Plus, I'm starting to doubt that I read the vibes right, that maybe he's not interested at all and was just nice to me because I was there.

I hate that I feel like this. I ended it with the FWB so that I would feel free to pursue something. Well, that and because I finally realized I deserve better. But what if I can't do better? What if I'm doomed to be alone? Also, I'm always attracted to men who are, for lack of a better term, out of my league. Benny is very much out of my league. Good looking, smart, a great, and sarcastic, sense of humor. He got his own place recently and is working two jobs to support himself.

I'm just feeling really down and convinced that nothing will come of this, because I am so afraid of being rejected and losing any confidence I have.